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FASS 2002: Laura Kraft (Erin Rogozinski) leads a bunch of eccentric artifact collectors on the hunt for the cursed star-spangled duck.

FASS 1999 - Imprint review

This review appeared in the January 29, 1999, issue of Imprint.

Warning: cult on campus

David Eby, Imprint staff

There is a cult at Waterloo. Students around campus are breathing a sigh of relief that facts are finally surfacing about the devious actions and malicious intent of this collection of miscreants. Imprint is glad to be a part of the effort to bring the actions of these "people" to light.

Professor Judy Wubnig has been involved in different aspects of this cult for longer than she can remember. "I can't remember how long ago it was, I'd have to check my sweatshirt. I've always ordered a shirt every year I've been involved." Her frank admissions may lead some to question her ability to lead students; in fact, Wubnig has little shame about encouraging others to join. When asked about the involvement of other higher-ups in this conspiracy she can't resist the need to recruit: "I'm just sorry that other staff and faculty members are missing out on all the fun," she says.

The cult goes by an acronym: FASS (Faculty, Alumni, Staff and Students), which reflects the depth of the problem and the many layers the group has infiltrated. Perhaps the most telling indicator of the significance of this problem is that this group has existed since the university was formed. This year over 60 actors are involved in the mass recruitment which poses as a dramatic production.

In the early days of FASS people found the group to be fun and harmless, but lately people have been calling the group "FASShists" and "a pain in the FASS." Religious leaders agree that joining is the "FASS track to hell," despite insistence from all group members that they are simply a group of "FASSinating" people. Formed for the alleged purpose of producing an annual play featuring students, faculty and alumni, the group quickly developed an evil side. An example of this subculture's attitudes towards modern society is evident in the title of this year's production The FASS files: The Truth is WAY Out There. Although the group claims the presentation is a comic musical, the X-Files reference is far too obvious to ignore, and the implications are shocking.

Wubnig is unashamed to admit that FASS members have begun to corrupt the surrounding Waterloo community. "A lot of the people I know from FASS have moved into the Waterloo Little Theater, there are ex-FASS people everywhere."

Seeking their inspiration from the heathen leader Aristophanes, the Greek poet/comic who wrote comedies about activities in Athens that lead to the downfall of an empire, the FASS cult seeks to subvert the university culture by poking fun at events and people on campus. Certainly the brazen activities of this group can no longer be ignored - the threat that this group presents to the university is as real as the threat Aristophanes presented to the Greeks.

The popularity of this cult allows them to complete a full production every year, based solely on the funding that comes from ticket sales to the events. People who attend a single FASS production find themselves unable to avoid attending the next, and the next. Frequently, people who attend FASS events are assimilated into the cult.

Students of Waterloo! Educate yourselves about the threat posed by the FASS. Go in large groups, if you must, to any recruitment meetings. Only through mass education can we possibly hope to eliminate the threat that FASS poses to our way of life. Let us join together on February 4, 5 and 6 at the "productions" of this group and use our presence to let them know their activities can not continue. If you don't stop them, who will? If not now, when?

Tickets are available through the Humanities Theatre box office in Hagey Hall. Tickets are $8 for general admission, $6 each for groups of six or more. Showtime on February 4 and 6 is 8:00 p.m., showtimes on Friday, February 5 are 7:00 p.m. and 10:00 p.m. Remember, Waterloo needs you. Do your part.